Every time you masturbate, God kills a kitten.

2003-09-29T14:32:00.000-05:00

Yay. I've got my domain and webhosting space up and running. I'm in the process of setting up MovableType to work well with me. Here's the link, and the URL is http://shadowlover.net. Whenever I get everything all situated there, I'll set up a redirect.

2003-09-12T09:04:00.000-05:00

Blah. I was stressing yesterday about a test in History for today. I was up till 1:30 studying and I said to myself I'll get up at 6 and study some more. Well, when the alarm went off, I went back to sleep for 45 mins. Turns out the test was really easy. One thing that was odd was the two essay questions. I'm used to having to write something substantial for essays, but most of the class was gone in 20 minutes. A brief essay, to me, is about one handwritten page. Oh well. I told him when I turned in the paper (40 minutes into the class and only 2 other guys in the class) that I was very verbose. That's just a fancy way of saying I talk a lot.

2003-09-02T19:11:00.000-05:00

I think I've had too much coffee today. I'm not sure if I'm shaking because of a caffeine overdose or because of the almost indescribable rage I feel.

Why am I so angry, you ask? See this website for details and then I urge you to sign the petition on that site and this one.

2003-08-31T23:56:00.000-05:00

I've been thinking about my time as a convenience store manager. I always did whatever I could for my employees and I'm reasonably sure that the good ones did their best for me too. I think, at the time, I took it for granted that they accepted me being gay, but the more I think about it, they really respected me. I find myself wishing I had done more than I had...or maybe just the chance to tell them how how much I appreciated them. Although I can't afford to be in a management position right now because of school, I hope I'll have the opportunity to serve employees like that again.

2003-08-28T22:36:00.000-05:00

Hmm. I'm thinking super seriously of getting some hosting space and a domain name and setting up movabletype for the blog. It shouldn't be too difficult, and I've found reasonable hosting. Bleh, I'll think more about it tomorrow.

School's going well. I have a letter to write to an elected official for government. I may post it when I revise and refine it.

Today was payday and again I am brizzoke. bleh

2003-08-25T01:52:00.000-05:00

Gah. After I got home from work today and was unsuccessful at finding food, I went to bed. As a result, I woke up about midnight and found a bite to eat and watched some Duckman.

Hmm. Blah. I have the first day of classes in the morning. And there's no basement in the Alamo.

2003-08-18T00:39:00.000-05:00

Last night I had a couple of dreams I remember. In the first one, the world was going to be flooded, so a lot of people were on a train. I don't know where we were going, though. In another dream, we got a fine for our lawn being messy.

I think I've had my share of stupid customers today. This lady asked me about some software that we didn't have but another walmart has. I told her that different stores carry different titles. I believe her parting word to me was "Damn!"

Gah...they had me up front for an hour. I really hate that.

2003-08-16T23:53:00.000-05:00

Hmm. An interesting thing happened at work tonight. One of the CSMs was having a particularly bad night of it, and when I went to get change from him I asked him if he liked Seinfeld. My intention was to remind him of the ''Serenity Now" episode, maybe to elicit a chuckle or to calm him down a bit. Instead, I got "I think Jerry Seinfeld is a Jewish queer and I don't like him." Normally this CSM is pretty cool--he works to get you your breaks and lunch on time, but I have to say I lost a great deal of respect for him tonight.

Blah. This was all last night (the 15th)--problems updating.

2003-08-15T02:49:00.000-05:00

Bleh. I haven't posted in quite a while. Not a lot has been going on. Just a bit of work and the ever-present car problems. Jesus H. Christ, I don't know how much move money I can pour into this damn car. On top of that, it's not like I have the money to fix it, I have to borrow from my parents and endure the related guilt trips associated with that. Gah, I have so much shit to do tomorrow--pick up the car, go to the school to finalize registration, fight with the bank over overdraft fees, and then go to work for eight hours. Erg, g'night then.

2003-07-24T11:46:00.000-05:00

Okay. I've put a new little commenting board over there to the left. I'm not entirely happy with it. There's that border that's completely incongruous with the rest of the site. We'll see how it goes. In other news. I got a job at Wal-Mart. Yay for me! And with that, I once again enter the world of the wage slave.

2003-07-24T10:57:00.000-05:00

Grr.... It seems as though my old commenting system is no longer working. So I've had to get a new one and install it. Of course, that means that any old comments (not that there were that many) have been erased. Oh well.

2003-07-09T00:18:00.000-05:00

Okay. I just found out that I read a fake Harry Potter. It was a good story though. Hmm. Now I need to read the real one.

2003-07-07T02:20:00.000-05:00

I just finished reading Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. It was actually pretty good. I do have a few questions, though. First off, what is the deal with Joe and Akshay (two new Gryffindor students)? When Joe sees Harry at one point, he says "j00 rozorz meh soxorz." This is a little more than friendly, especially coupled with what the first years do for Harry when he's in the infirmary after the final Quidditch match.

Joe wrote him some sort of incomprehensible get well note (| 3 j00 |-|4rrY g3+ \/\/3|_|_ $00|\|!), Mike made him one thousand paper cranes that quickly flew away, Akshay gave him some sort of odd and fluffy penguin that he called Tux, and Chris… well, we won’t say what Chris did….

Hmm. Anyone familiar with "l33t" would understand the get well note to read "I [heart] you Harry, get well soon!" And a thousand paper cranes? Well, maybe that's appropriate. And a stuffed Tux, too. But what exactly did Chris do? It seems fairly obvious that Joe has a thing for Harry...maybe he should hook up with Chris. This raises yet another question. Why are there suddenly so many seemingly overt homosexuals in just one house at Hogwarts? Because the protagonists are all Gryffondors, I wouldn't expect too much information about other house's members, but you'd think that someone--maybe Peeves or Myrtle--woul have spilled the beans on some homos there. Another thing...with the number of boys in the Weasley family, you'd expect at least one of them to be gay.
I am totally aware that these books are intended primarily for children, so don't go looking at me like I'm crazy. But if you have any thoughts on it, hit me with a comment.

2003-07-02T22:40:00.000-05:00

People in this town are so considerate! I was putting water in my radiator this afternoon and the only thing I can imagine is that someone driving on the cross street must have thought I forgot I was gay because he yelled out "Faggot!" as he drove by. And all I could think was ''No shit." Let's see... I was in the parade, I have a rainbow sticker in the back window of my car, and I kiss my boyfriend when he picks me up at my house. Damn! He must have found out my secret! sigh Such is the world we live in.

2003-07-01T22:25:00.000-05:00

This weekend was absolutely awesome. We got my car working (kinda), I know a bit more about cars as a result, and I was in the pride parade here in Houston.
Matt and I were in the Covenant Church (the church we attend) float. It was amazing being able to work on the float before hand--not that the float was super spectacular, but it was done with care and pride. Even though I've never been accused of it, I think I'm a bit slow at times because this was the first time I truly felt accepted by the church. I know that's not the case; they accept me because of my association with Matt but I feel like, because of this weekend, even if I weren't with Matt, I would have been accepted. Other than that, we all had fun completing the float, then riding it in the parade.
During the parade, there were three really memorable occasions. A man, tears in his eyes, came up to Millard, shook his hand, and said, ''Thank you." I don't know the reason why, but my best guess would be the church's acceptance of homosexuals and participation in the parade were very inspiring to him.
We encountered two small groups of protestors on the parade route. This was not really upsetting to me though. They were merely expressing their beliefs, and even though I don't agree with them, I have no problem with their expression of those beliefs.
There was one troubling thing though. After the second (and larger) of the two groups of protestors, a woman came up to the float and asked me if I thought they sucked. I told her protesting is good, but they're not very good at it. This ties in with my whole polarity theme. I am almost sure that, if the woman had her way, the protestors would not be allowed at the parade. The very thought of that almost makes me sick. Once a group's voice is removed from them, it just becomes that much easier for the powers that be to assert their views and authority over all of us. It's scary to think, given that situation, how easily our hard earned rights could be taken away from us. I'll leave with two very poignant and applicable quotes.
"I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it." -- Voltaire
"Every rose has a thorn." -- Poison

2003-06-25T09:31:00.000-05:00

Yay I got a scholarship from PFLAG! Whoo hoo!! Hmm...car's broken though :( Remember what I said about polarities?

2003-06-18T19:36:00.000-05:00

Hmm...I'm seeing about publishing this on my own site...I wonder if I could keep both of them up.
Bleh...it only updates the current one. I want to keep the URL I have now though.

2003-06-18T19:13:00.000-05:00

My life is a study in polarity. On the one hand, school is going great, I have a job interview lined up and all...On the other hand, my car died yesterday, I have no job, and things are generally bleh. So watch out when you're near me. If I'm in a good mood, you're safe. If I'm in a funk. you might be taking the quick way down the stairs.

2003-06-13T16:51:00.000-05:00

Okay...I've found something that I simply must have. If anyone wants to buy it for me, I'd be eternally grateful. If not, well...just take a look at it. You might like Strangers with Candy as well. And Amazon is the cheapest I've found for this item. (It's a real steal at $22.49). Well, here's the link to my Amazon.com wish list.
In other news, I'm job searching. I've got my hopes up for a bank job. I'll keep you posted on that. In yet OTHER news, I won tickets to see R.E.M. in concert here in Houston coming up in September. Yay..free music. Sounds like the internet to me.

2003-06-09T10:11:00.000-05:00

bleh...in school right now. Very bored. I didn't wanna wake up this morning. I guess that's what I get for staying up so late. I watched the 2002 remake of Carrie last night. What a piece of junk that was. There's no way she could have thought that she could compare to Sissy Spacek. I mean, come on...give me a break. Her delivery of "They're called breasts, momma, they're very fashionable these days." Well, it was just flat. After all, everyone knows girls get boobs from sinning. And the mom didn't even say "They're all gonna laugh at you!" What the hell was that? Well, here's a link for you. This isn't mine, but it is super hilarious. It reminds me of my childhood. Family...Isn't it about Time?

2003-06-05T21:47:00.000-05:00

Hmm. Well, the first week of school is over. There's only 5 or so weeks left. I saw my friend Judy today. I haven't seen her in forever! That's kinda the only memorable thing that happened today. That's about it for now.

2003-06-02T17:54:00.000-05:00

Well, I had first day of classes today. And I officially got the grade for my Business Speech class (an A). This brings my GPA up to a whopping 3.57. Hmm..Macroeconomics looks to be fun and the teacher seems nice. Finite math seems a bit dry...but then again, it is math. Then we have my bane, American Literature. Since this is my second go around, hopefully it will turn out much better. We'll just call the first one a dry run, eh?

2003-05-31T10:21:00.000-05:00

Okay. I'm moderately happy with this setup. I think I'll leave it like this for a while because I don't know how to do what I really want to do with it. Oh well.
School starts again on Monday. I'm taking American Lit, Macroeconomics and Finite Math. Whoo hoo..gonna be fun. Okay. That's enough sarcasm for this post.

2003-05-29T16:56:00.000-05:00

Damn. Just found out that I can't use frames at all. Well, that would be why it didn't work. It says I can use server side includes, but I'm not that smart :(. Oh well...Looks like it's back to the drawing board.

2003-05-28T23:07:00.000-05:00

Well, my first attempt to use a frameset failed wonderfully. The main frame wouldn't translate the blogger codes. Grr. Well, I need to read up on it.

2003-05-27T23:58:00.000-05:00

Hmm...okay....This is just about what the blog will look like from now on. Because I'm super awful with tables, I'm going to set up some framesets..whoo hoo nifty. It may be a few days, but I will persevere. :)

2003-05-24T18:42:00.000-05:00

Okay. So I had my interview for PFLAG/HATCH youth scholarship today. I think I did pretty well. But now the whole wait thing begins. Grrr. Oh, it was at Bering United Methodist Church in Montrose...it was a pretty nice church. I might think about visiting it.
I'm going to work on retooling my blog to look better. I wish I were a little more creative. The new one will definitely have more gay tones to it. Maybe.

[Listening to: She's A Sleestack - Nerf Herder - How To Meet Girls (03:20)]

2003-05-22T09:03:00.000-05:00

I just had one of the weirdest dreams. In one part, the dog could talk. So as long as I talked to him using simple words, he could understand me and respond.
The main dream was truly odd. A friend of ours (I don't know who I was) left us a bunker underground. This was on a small island with almost no other inhabitants, but it wasn't extremely far from civilization. There was something in the bunker that regulated the power for the entire world and something was going wrong with it. One of my friends used his body to fix it. I think that killed him, but I could be wrong about that. Anyway, this bunker was really really huge. We were wondering how it could be this huge and a voice said it was an artificial singularity, making the inside bigger than the outside. Then we found this table that was showing each of our positions. There were four of us. It would also show the outside world. I told everyone that because we were near a singularity, would that make time on the outside go slowly? So we looked at the table to see and things were moving very very quickly. There was a city that sprung up around us. So two of us went up to see the future places. We were on the beach and I recognized the other guy with me as Matt. We weren't wearing sunscreen, so we decided to go back to the bunker. Before we went, we saw a hippo-dog and a vendor selling some fancy future green beans. When we went back down to the bunker, I got the idea that if we needed money, I could sell some of my dollar bills I had in my wallet. After all, this was the future and they should be worth quite a bit. We got the sunscreen and stuff and went back up. I was peeing on the side of the bunker and a man was walking around. He almost saw me, but he introduced us to his wife. He wanted to know who lived in the trailer right there. So his wife went in one door and I went in the other. I didn't see anyone, but the layout of the trailer was EXACTLY the same as the bunker. So I grabbed the TV remote and was contemplating grabbing the TV, but I just left. I looked for the wife, but I didn't see her, so I went in the other door. There she was with one of my friends, talking. It was the same room I had just been in, but no one had been there. My friend explained that only the door the woman came through came to his living space. I guess it was like a duplex only taking up one space. So I asked her what year it was, but she didn't tell me. I told my friend about selling things for money. That's about it, I had to wake up then.

2003-05-19T08:49:00.000-05:00

Well, it's almost time for me to leave for school. I got to spend most of the weekend at Matt's, so that was pretty awesome. Grr...got a project in speech just staring me in the face. I think that's about it for now.

[Listening to: Sweet baby - Macy Gray - (03:48)]

2003-05-13T00:30:00.000-05:00

I started my Business Speech class today. The prof is really strange. We're to call him "Uncle Ronnie" or "Hey You." He hit me on the back of the hand for no reason today. I have a good feeling about the class though. I got a new tool for blogging called w.bloggar. It's wicked cool. If I'm listening to winamp, it will show what I'm listening to at the time.

[Listening to: Signy Mallory - Fish, Leslie - Magic, Moondust & Melancholy by Mercedes Lackey (02:52)]

2003-05-11T12:05:00.000-05:00

Do the Which Queer As Folk Cast Member Are You?
Quiz created by Jessie

2003-05-05T13:12:00.000-05:00

Yay. Happy Cinco de Mayo.

2003-05-01T09:32:00.000-05:00

The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Seventh Level of Hell!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

Level	Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)	Very Low
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)	Very Low
Level 2 (Lustful)	Very High
Level 3 (Gluttonous)	Moderate
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)	Low
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)	Moderate
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)	Low
Level 7 (Violent)	Very High
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)	Very High
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)	High

Take the Dante's Inferno Hell Test

This is not good. Who knew I was violent?

2003-04-27T18:03:00.000-05:00

Last night Matt took me to Outback as part of my birthday gift. While there, I made an astounding discovery. I told Matt that he should take like 4 loaves of the bread they give you home and plant them in his garden. I told him that he wouldn't have to worry about birds because they dig for worms, not bread. Well, he thought he had me there...he really should have known better. Just look at the situation...you're a bird and you happen to be digging for worms. You find some bread, buried in the ground. You're like "what the fuck?!?" Birds won't realize that it's food because it's in the ground and it's not a worm. Remember, birds aren't the smartest of animals, that's why calling someone a "bird brain" is worse than calling them a tard.
So, I have to run to the store now, we're out of bread.

2003-04-22T18:43:00.000-05:00

Yesterday I ate a barbequed chicken breast. It was one of the boneless, skinless variety. After I pulled it out of the microwave, it vaguely resembled a human heart. It had at the top where the aorta is and everything. It didn't stop me from eating it though. I was hungry.

2003-04-21T09:08:00.000-05:00

Hmm..I watched The Ring last night just before going to bed. I don't think I had any disturbing dreams, but I did have a dream where I could read and translate Latin by sight. At least I think it was Latin. Anyway, I was researching about different cultures in history and similarities between the ten commandments (not the movie). Turns out some of them had commandment number 6 as their number one...or the other way around, I don't really remember.

2003-04-14T07:46:00.001-05:00

I had a dream last night where there were boars and wolves in my back yard. They were cooperating, and I knew I had to take them down one by one. Somehow I got on top of fence and I tricked most of the wolves to go to the other side. Then I jumped onto a black wolf's back and forced her to get over to the back door. This was after I almost killed a boar. I think I was hungry. Another dream I had last night involved an Orchestra class. We had a substitute teacher (how you can have a sub for orch, I don't know). Instead of playing an instrument because I suck at it in my dreams, much like in real life, I got to tell jokes. I got a good grade for that.

2003-04-11T11:01:00.000-05:00

Today I am old.

2003-04-08T15:05:00.000-05:00

You know, sometimes I wish that fantasy movies weren't so popular. Take the movie Legend. Lily throws a ring into the water and proclaims that she will marry the man who brings the ring back to her. All these movies do is set romantic ideals that will never be fulfilled. In the same vein, Backstreet Boys and N'Sync contribute to domestic violence. You see, girls want the boys they see on MTV, so they hold out and hold out for the "perfect guy." They settle for a guy that seems like the one for them...but no, there's something wrong...he's not perfect. So she waits some more. She hears not only the ticking of her biological clock, but the tolling of the clock tower deep in her innards...one, two, three...eleven times it chimes. Each one a nail in the coffin. Desparately, her time running out faster than Cinderella's, her slipper left on the stairs, she once again settles for whatever she can get, her dreams dashed to the floor. Her mate, if he is sure of his hold on the new hausfrau, which he should be, is free to exert his will on her as he sees fit. Hmm...okay, I guess that's about it...

You are Evil Lily, one who was seduced by Darkness
and put under a spell, but was able to save the
Unicorn by double crossing Darkness.

What Legend Character Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

2003-04-06T23:24:00.000-05:00

I should be shot. It has been absolutely forever since my last update. Last night I was in an accident (yes, another one). I was on I 10 and I hit a slick spot in the road cuz it was kinda misty out. So I started to lose control of my car. For all of you that have never had it happen, you say "oh, that would never happen to me, I can keep control of the car." I know...cuz that's what I thought. But no, when the wheels start skidding, you're NOT in control of the car. So I pulled over and I was in the emergency lane taking a breather. I had the flashing hazard lights on. Then I look up and I see a sideways truck coming toward me. This, take my word for it, is something you absolutely NEVER want to see in your mirror. It's a bad thing. I put the car back into drive and floored it. Too bad I wasn't faster, or the truck wasn't skidding more slowly. He hit the back of my car and screwed up the bumper and dented the hell out of the rear panel on the passenger side. So the other guy pulls over to the other side of the road, then turns off his lights and takes off. I'm like WTF? So I try following him a bit, but I lose him. I called the cops and the insurance company. My life sucks.
On a bit of a brighter note, I had the locker room dream again a few nights ago. :)

2003-03-12T12:31:00.000-06:00

Okay. So I'm watching the food network. this chick is all going off on how great it is to use a muffin pan for other thing like for green peppers or even baked potatoes. Then she used a garlic press for ginger. And then she wanted to know if they made a ginger perfume. This chick is nuts! Oh, it's Mary Ellen. There's a disclaimer at the end...they don't guarantee absolute success for the tips presented. In such an unsure world, I can't depend on my potato peeler to give me a very thin slice of butter?

2003-03-07T23:25:00.000-06:00

Gah. I'm so bored. I got ready for school this morning and I should have known that the teacher would cancel class right before Spring Break. So instead of PreCal, I got a haircut. The woman did a good job, but she had on an incredibly short skirt. If it had been any shorter, I would have asked "Where's Wally, cuz I see the Beaver!"
Oh well. I guess that's all for now.

2003-03-06T14:47:00.000-06:00

So I'm at the brake shop right now... getting my brakes taken care of. What should have cost only about $100 is gonna run me more like $320. Maybe I should set up a Pay Pal donation link...What do ya'll think?

2003-03-06T10:57:00.000-06:00

I was late to Accounting today. I guess I stayed up too late last night...because I was having a dream where I was putting gas into the back seat of my car. Then I had a dream where I was playing a computer game. I guess that's all for now.

2003-02-27T03:11:00.000-06:00

2003-02-26T22:14:00.000-06:00

K...Time to update. Once again, I am down to the wire on a journal article review. It's time to get the Diet Coke and get to work :( Other than that, things are going relatively well. I've found a new game called Furcadia. It's pretty cool I guess.

2003-02-19T14:30:00.000-06:00

Okay...so the internet's been down at my house yesterday and today. I'm going through withdrawal. I only have access right now at school, so that's where I am right now. "But I see your little IM things lit up," you might say...this is through the magic of cell phone instant messaging. That really is a marvelous breakthrough, don't you think? I mean, we have starving people ALL over the world...but I can sent you an text message from my phone!
I'm looking at getting a hand held computer when my income tax comes in...it's a Toshiba e740 or something like that...it has built in wifi so I can be at home and on the internet and supposedly the school has wifi access points all over the place. Okay, enough of that...geek mode off.. :)

2003-02-17T18:07:00.000-06:00

bleh...I have accounting homework that I really don't feel like doing. :(

2003-02-12T19:38:00.000-06:00

Hmm...I set up a referrer log to see where all the hits are coming from...it seems like everyone is searching for "Every time you masturbate" yadda yadda...Which of course is usually represented by a cute kitty being chased by some domo-kuns with a nice caption at the bottom. While I do get a lot of hits, I must ask myself...are these people reading the blog? If so, are they being positively influenced by it? Just some things to ponder.

2003-02-11T00:02:00.000-06:00

Hmm...so there's the blah blah blah guy in my computer class. You know, when someone doesn't know a thing for sure, they really shouldn't say it. The item in question was "Console systems don't have operating systems" to which my reply was "Consoles do too have operating systems, shut up."
That may not have been the most diplomatic response, but it was almost as if I had magical powers. Because he DID shut up. Maybe I'm a witch.

2003-02-05T12:45:00.000-06:00

K.. I slept really late this morning, so I was almost late getting to Precal. I was rushing through my shower, getting dressed, and getting my hair did :). But anyway, the reason I was late is because I was having a very odd dream. I dreamt that my family and I had somehow gotten stranded somewhere very north, but it was like a desert...like Arizona or somewhere. And then I was in a plane and I crashed in California. Then I drove all the way back to them and it took like 3 years to get there. By then, it wasn't just my parents there, it was a commune type setting. I wanted them to leave and get out of there, but they didn't want to go. They told me that nobody would rescue them. There was a big gas station that gave away gas to the commune members. And also a big Wal-mart that did the same thing. I was in the wal-mart, getting a whole lot of things, but then I remember thinking to myself that if I was gonna go back, I would need a lot of water and non perishable foods. If we were so far out, how did the gasoline get delivered? And who stocked up the store? Those things don't make sense.
I think that the part of me being missing for three years represents a self imposed exile that I have personally undergone, and my reentry to the commune is my imminent reentry to the community that I have shunned. The fact that I wasn't getting water and non perishables upon my trip to the store indicates a desire to stay in the community, but filling up with gas says that I want to have the option available to me to leave if I wish. Obviously, the commune and my "family" are symbolic of the gay community that I have been absent from or not really associated with at all.
There's just a lot of weird stuff that goes on in dreams.

2003-01-30T22:43:00.000-06:00

Which Craig Parker Character Are You?

YAY!! I'm Haldir. Craig Parker is such a hottie! So much better than Legolas. :)

2003-01-29T00:44:00.000-06:00

Hmm...so I got an awful haircut. I don't know what form of aural agnosia this guy that cut my hair had....I told him "Make me look like this guy in the picture." Obviously he heard "Make me look like a bull dyke." Because that's exactly what happened.
I'm very upset about this turn of events.
I have lost another little chunk of the faith that I still had in humans. At least it's not a mullet.

2003-01-23T20:19:00.000-06:00

I got to thinking...that last post maybe sounded like I don't like school. Nothing could be further from the truth, in fact. I absolutely love school, and I don't mind studying...I just like the work to be non tedious. I've actually reevaluated my goals in life...or at least from school. I'm now planning on minoring in accounting...probably get my CPA. Yeah, not the most exciting thing in the world, but it gives me something almost assuredly rock solid to fall back on. And I think security is an excellent goal to have.
Hmm...so...give me some comments on the pic of myself I have posted. It kinda looks like I'm looking off expectantly into the future, while in the background the eddies of time swirl...but actually, I took the pic in the bathroom, in the mirror, so I had to kinda look forward and point the camera up into the mirror...then I changed the background (you don't wanna see my bathroom) so it matched the background of this page. Hmm...let me know!

2003-01-22T22:22:00.000-06:00

Okay....I kicked ass in PreCal again today...but I've come to a couple of conclusions.

I'm gonna have to learn trig.

Accounting, if I don't spend 6 outside classroom hours per week on it, is gonna kick my ass.

Oh well...Off to study :(

2003-01-22T02:17:00.000-06:00

GAH!
Accounting is one boring class to have homework in. Don't get me wrong...I'm learning in there, and it is somewhat interesting, but the homework is so tedious!! Oh well...just finished and it's time for bed.

2003-01-18T19:52:00.000-06:00

Hmm...if I do say so myself, I kicked ass in PreCal on Friday. hehe...now you know my terrible secret...I'm a nerd. Gah, there's no school on Monday and I'm gonna be so bored.
The group from the chat meets regularly for coffee every Friday, so Matt and I caught a lil bit of that last night...we're gonna start attending more often. Hmm..is it unusual for a group of gay men to get together and just talk? I don't know, again I must cite my general inexperience with interpersonal relations with other gay men.
I'm thinking of maybe desiging a new blog template...maybe I'll just play around with it for a bit. Okay, that's it for now.

2003-01-15T10:37:00.000-06:00

Hmm...in my human sexuality class, the instructor told the class that if anyone wanted to see gay behaviour, they should go to Rich's (a Houston area twinkie-dancy-disco-druggie club thingie). I, having had very limited experience with other gay people, really don't know if those types of people would be considered "normal" or not. I do hope that the gay community is not characterized by that group of people, however. I may or may not be a "normal" gay guy, but I like to think that I do have a modicum of moral decency...for example: the phrase "dating a few people" makes absolutely no sense to me, "first date" does not mean that's the second time you're having sex with someone (that you can remember), and "420" is about what time you sit down for an after school snack. Maybe I'm just bitter or jaded...maybe I actually appreciate the old school term "family values." I don't know...Maybe, if things had developed a little differently with me, I'd be one of the twinkie-dancy-disco-druggie types and I wouldn't care about it.

2003-01-14T17:21:00.000-06:00

Hmm...Accounting was a bit boring...that may be the one class that I may have some difficulty in. Fun to learn though :)
Human Sexuality...hmm...how to put this...it seems, from first glance to be glorified porn. And so I took a second look...yup, it's still glorified porn :)
I really hope I'm the only fag in there when we talk about sexual orientation...that should be a trip.

2003-01-13T17:22:00.000-06:00

Hmmm....Intro to PC Operating Systems...
Teacher seems cool...there're a few annoying people in the class that I've already identified. There's Mr. Sleepy...his eyes are always half closed. Either he's OD'd on benadryl or he's got some serious 420 issues. There's Mr. "My High School Computer Teacher This, My High School Computer Teacher That..." God he's annoying. Like we want to hear all about your teacher over and over and over. Then there's Mr. "I haven't used a Mac since elementary school". People really should keep their comments to themselves sometimes.
Okay...well, that was day one. Tommorow I have Accounting and Human Sexuality.

2003-01-13T12:31:00.000-06:00

Today and tomorrow will be dedicated to my impressions of the first days of the classes I'm taking this semester. On Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays, I have Precalculus and Intro to PC Operating Systems. I haven't attended the PC OS class yet. But on the Precal class...
The class seems a bit rowdy. Many of them were in the same trig class last semester and, from the remarks of their grades, none of them are likely Rhodes Scholars candidates :). Hmm...wouldn't be so bad, except the worst of the bunch seem to take the best seats in the class, robbing the students who really want to learn of that opportunity. Oh well. The professor seems nice. I get the feeling that he leans a little my way, if you know what I mean. Not that that makes any difference, but I've found it's easier to learn from someone that you have at least something in common with.
I still have about an hour until my next class. I've only seen one person that I know from last semester so far today. Hopefully at least one person from my computer class last semester will be in the one I'm taking this sem. Okay, I think I'm rambling now, so I'll go ahead and go...after my next class I have to drop by the bookstore and get two or three more books (them buying back books is a REAL ripoff!), then go get some tags for my car. Next post will be about computer class.

2003-01-10T00:34:00.000-06:00

Okay...more new stuff! I've added really cool instant messenger status icons over there on the side nav bar. It should be pretty obvious when I'm online...two or more of the little icons should have little lights floating around it. The AIM and the Yahoo send message links require you to have those services installed. The ICQ link does not. It is entirely web driven...unfortunately, that means I would be unable to respond to you except by email. I looked and looked for a service that would do the same for MSN, but to no avail. Nothing web based and nothing in a link. Also, it doesn't seem that the links to send a message in AIM or Yahoo work in Opera. This is unfortunate because I recommend Opera over just about any other browser. Opera does not seem to like "addresses" that start with aim: or ymsgr:...it does not know what to do with them. Umm...the ICQ status seems a bit sluggish sometimes to click on or off...I know I did the coding properly (I spent long enough debugging it!). Yes, well..it's very late now. I'm going to bed. G'night all

2003-01-08T17:48:00.000-06:00

Gah...I feel like absolute crap. I went to bed last night and I was like totally freezing. So I go to bed really early (like 10:30) and I have a nightmare. I know it's a dream, but I can't wake myself from it. I don't know what was so scary about the dream...it was just about a big house. That's all I remember was the outside of the house...yeah, it was large, dark, and menacing, but other than that not particularly scary. So I woke from that at 4:30 this morning, and went directly back to sleep. I didn't have any dreams that I can remember and I woke at 10:30.
So I was supposed to help my stepmom take down outside Christmas decorations...Lets just say I didn't have to do very much of that. She sent me back upstairs (ugh..stairs), told me to take a shower and some pills and go back to bed. I slept till 4:30. Man, for getting that much sleep, you might think I would feel better. Oh well.

2003-01-05T21:42:00.000-06:00

Yay! I got a pic up and I made a few small changes to the layout. I'm finally making this site "my own".
Serious question...where did you hear of this site? Please let me know in the comments for this post. I'm really dying to know. Thanks!

2003-01-02T00:27:00.000-06:00

Hmm...I spent New Years with Matt.... I had a major blast :)
Lets see...we had some Butter Shots and finished off two bottles of champagne between the both of us. And we stayed up quite late just talking. So, as a consequence, we also stayed in bed rather late. But that's all good. I really enjoy being with him and being in his arms. Hmm...I'm missing him a bit now. I think that's about it for now.

2002-12-27T02:14:00.000-06:00

Matt and I went to see Star Trek Nemesis tonight. It was great. I love spending time with him.
Umm...okay..that's all for now. I have to wake up early tomorrow. Gnight!

2002-12-25T19:02:00.000-06:00

I would just like to say Merry Christmas to everyone...if you don't celebrate Christmas, then to your respective beliefs I pay homage in saying Happy Festivus. I really hope your celebration of the Winter Solstice was better than mine. I'm not going to go into details, but I think family really blows sometimes. Ummm...a hey to Annie and Cassie and Trenton...yall are great!

2002-12-24T08:17:00.000-06:00

Hmm...last night I had a dream where I was looking for a place to read undisturbed. I tried in the car, but it didn't work. I ended up in a tool shed in the back yard or something. I think a dog was following me.
DRAMA ALERT
So my stepmom tells me I can invite Matt over to celebrate Christmas with us. Then, on Sunday, she rescinds that invitation. So I am the one that had to tell Matt. Basically, there were three choices for me to pick from. 1.) Just screw my family and spend the whole day with Matt. 2.) Just go with the flow and spend the day with my family. 3.) Spend part of the day with my family and leave with Matt to go to church with him. We decided on number 3. I did tell Matt that I guarantee that this mess will not happen next year. I really shouldn't have expected my parents to accept my relationship. Oh well...I think that in most cases naivete is better than cynicism...hehe not to say that I'm not cynical a lot of the time as well.

2002-12-21T17:58:00.000-06:00

I had at least 4 distinct dreams last night.
I found out my friend Annie was Jewish because I was going to her bris. How a female can have a bris, don't ask me...tis the magic of the dreams I guess :)
Umm...in my newspaper class a girl was pregnant and we were throwing her a baby shower. We all had special shirts we made for the baby.
Gah! I know I should have blogged these when I woke up instead of waiting. Now I can't remember anymore of them.
Okay....have a great weekend yall!

2002-12-21T17:41:00.000-06:00

Sometimes I feel that I'm a very minor player in a great number of peoples' lives and a major player in a very few number of peoples' lives. Somehow I don't seem unhappy by this state of affairs.

2002-12-16T14:21:00.000-06:00

Here's a great internet game. ISketch, it's like a computerized pictionary. It's very addictive. I'm in there quite a bit :) I'll be putting a permanent link to it on the side there when I get around to it.

2002-12-16T02:29:00.000-06:00

Yay...I got the archives back. Hmm..okay. I'm going to bed now.

2002-12-15T02:14:00.000-06:00

Hmmm....last weekend Matt and I went to Dickens on the Strand (as I said before)...we ate at FishTales there in Galveston. For dessert, we shared an ice cream cone...he thought it was weird to do that in public like that. Maybe it was. But I figure that if I pay the same money every one else does, I should be able to do what straight ppl can do. If anyone had a problem with it, they should say something and I'd set them straight (hehe, so to speak)...and if they don't have the balls to say what they think, I have even less respect for those people.
Oh well....such is the world we live in.

2002-12-12T19:32:00.000-06:00

K...I just noticed that the counter at the bottom of the page reads 1052...and those are unique/semi-unique hits. And I've had a total of like 5 comments. I'm doing the best I can, but some people are not keeping up their end...not pulling their weight. k...nuff said.

2002-12-12T19:27:00.000-06:00

Yay! I'm so happy!
I finally got Matt a Christmas gift. I was actually looking for something else, but I got something I know he both wants and needs, so that can't be a bad thing.
I also got something for New Years. I'm glad I have someone I truly care about to spend that with.
I think that's about it for now! SOMEONE NEEDS TO COMMENT! :)

2002-12-10T13:05:00.000-06:00

I wonder if cynicism is really dependent on your outlook on life or if it's a genetic type of thing. You know, if your parents were cynical, would you be cynical by nature?
I think I've lost some of my cynicism.
Matt and I went to Dickens on the Strand in Galveston on Sunday. It was okay....not nearly as good as Renaisance Festival was. But we still had fun.
I have almost all of my Christmas shopping done. I really don't know what to get Matt for Christmas. I am totally stumped. Is it considered impolite to ASK someone what they want for Christmas? I don't know the answer to that one.
I was in a car wreck yesterday. I was so scared. *gah* I don't want to even think about it much less blog about it right now. Matt said he wanted to drive up so he could comfort me. I'm fine physically...too bad my car isn't.
If I absolutely knew I wouldn't be a burden on Matt, I would move in with him as soon as I could.

2002-11-27T01:04:00.000-06:00

hmm...there was a particular look that someone gave me today...as if he knew I was gay and he didn't approve. It reminded me of the movie The Breakfast Club. Where Ally Sheedy's character says "HA!"
I felt like saying that to him. But I didn't. Oh well. It doesn't matter if he knows or not...and definitely if he approves of me or not. I guess that really is my way of saying "HA" to the world.

2002-11-18T00:00:00.000-06:00

Hmm...I spent the whole weekend with Matt. I really must say that this has been the most relaxing weekend I've had in a long while. We went to an alumni function at his fraternity. I'm really happy that he is including me in his life. I don't think he knows how much that really means to me.
I also attended services at his church this morning. I was a little bit uncomfortable because the last church I attended was more than seven years ago, and Catholic to boot. The members really made me feel welcome, and I enjoyed myself.
The sermon this morning had to do with taking risks. It actually gave me the courage to express how I feel about Matt to him. It was, altogether, a good thing....Martha would be proud. :)

2002-11-10T20:46:00.000-06:00

Congratulations, you're Lyta Alexander, rogue telepath.
Which Babylon 5 Character are you?
Take the Babylon 5 Quizby Paradox.

Lyta really rules. She was one of my favorites on that series. I liked Bester too...Hmm...maybe I just have a thing for those Psi Corps people! :)

Are you a ho? Find out @ She's Crafty

YAY! Contrary to popular belief, I am most definitely NOT a ho! I have the pic to prove it...right up there.

There's this really cool person that wished me luck on my surgery (it went well, BTW) and everyone should read her blog. The link is here or at http://cko.pitas.com for the clicking impaired. :)

2002-10-28T23:01:00.000-06:00

Gah. I haven't posted in a very long time. I feel like I'm neglectful. I'm really down right now.

Hmm...me and Matt are doing great, but I have a nagging feeling that he's so much better than me, you know what I mean? I feel so incredibly lucky to have him in my life.

My bud Vic was on the Today show. She sent in an entry for a singing contest they're having...she has an awesome voice. If I could change one thing about myself, I would want to be able to sing.

I'm having surgery for my arm tomorrow. I'm not worried about it. I just probably won't be able to get on the computer for a few days :(

Hmm...I'm gonna try to update more often

2002-10-08T19:58:00.000-05:00

gah...I haven't updated in a while...I really have no excuse.
Tomorrow is our two month anniversary... :) And we're going out to eat.
I really miss him.
Grrr...no one is talking to me...I think I'm invisible. Hmm..I played Armada 2 for quite a while today. That was fun.
[sigh]
I need some mental stimulation. I have math homework I wasn't able to finish immediately after class...I need to study for my Lit class cuz we have a test on Thursday. hmmm....I think that's about it for now.

2002-10-05T23:36:00.000-05:00

Have you ever thought of someone as perfect? So much that you treasure wach moment you spend with that person? Where even little things, when they might be annoying in others, are endearing?
When the perfection is marred, the silver is tarnished...the bubble is burst. What then?
Do you...Can you ever look at that person in the same light?
I don't think there is such a thing as perfect. And even if there were, I don't think I'd like to be associated with it. I would always feel inferior. Even more inferior than I already feel automatically.
My perfection is gone. At first, I was crestfallen. disappointed. shattered, almost. But then I realized that it wasn't fair for me to impose my idea of perfection on anyone and judge them by it. Who am I to think that that would be acceptable?
I know I've made mistakes in my life. I know I've avoided them, too. When did I become so self-righteous? It's not a good quality to have. I can't judge others, but I truly want to be the best person that I can. Maybe that is where true perfection lies. Not in the attainment of perfection, but in the struggle for it.
I don't think I've lost the perfection I perceived in my special person, I think I just finally saw him as a human being. And as far as I can tell, he is perfect for me.

2002-10-03T14:34:00.000-05:00

I Am A: True Neutral Elf Mage Bard

Alignment:
True Neutral characters are very rare. They believe that balance is the most important thing, and will not side with any other force. They will do whatever is necessary to preserve that balance, even if it means switching allegiances suddenly.

Race:
Elves are the eldest of all races, although they are generally a bit smaller than humans. They are generally well-cultured, artistic, easy-going, and because of their long lives, unconcerned with day-to-day activities that other races frequently concern themselves with. Elves are, effectively, immortal, although they can be killed. After a thousand years or so, they simply pass on to the next plane of existance.

Primary Class:
Mages harness the magical energies for their own use. Spells, spell books, and long hours in the library are their loves. While often not physically strong, their mental talents can make up for this.

Secondary Class:
Bards are the entertainers. They sing, dance, and play instruments to make other people happy, and, frequently, make money. They also tend to dabble in magic a bit.

Deity:
Azuth is the Lawful Neutral god of wizards and mages. He is also known as the High One, and is the Patron of Wizards. His followers believe that a systematic approach to magic is the best, and they strive for calm and caution in order to avoid accidents. They wear shimmering robes, and are well-versed in magic, as well as typical priest spells. Azuth's symbol is a hand with a raised, glowing index finger.

Find out What D&D Character Are You?, courtesy ofNeppyMan (e- mail)

2002-09-30T18:08:00.000-05:00

Hmm...almost nothing going on with me..that explains the scarcity of updates. Got to spend Friday night with Matt...that was awesome :)
Umm...had a test in computer today...super easy :)
Other than that, it's basically the same old thing..I'll try to be exciting next time.

2002-09-22T22:04:00.000-05:00

Damn...I haven't posted in almost a week... Hmm...not a lot going on. I bought a calculator online, yay! We had a test in Algebra on Friday, which I aced, yay! Umm, through a little bit of hacking I found out that I'm making the highest score in my computer class, yay! I think that's about it. I got to spend some time with Matt this weekend, so that was a major plus :).
[sigh] :) but at least it's a happy sigh.
Umm...my parents were outta town this weekend, so that was a good thing. Didn't do very much though. Hmm...started on my computer stuff due next week. That's about it for now...boring blog today.

2002-09-17T16:32:00.000-05:00

You Are a Kogyaru!

If it's cute, you'll wear it. Fake and bake, hair bleach, and bright makeup line your bathroom cabinet.

As for clothes - anything that's short and cute ("kawaii!").

You are the prize object of all sorts of men - but you are really looking for a rich foreign guy.

He'll find you out hanging out in Shibuya shopping at the 109, text messaging and sending photos over your cellphone.

What's *Your* Japanese Subculture?

okay..that's enough of that for now.

2002-09-17T16:24:00.000-05:00

Your Ass is Gay!

I'm so happy to say.

That your ass is gay.

So come on over,

And I'll stick it today.

What Ass Do *You* Have??

Well DUH!! What did you expect?

2002-09-17T16:20:00.000-05:00

What's *Your* Sex Sign?

2002-09-17T16:05:00.000-05:00

Whoo hoo...links time! This one is the liberator. I want the ramp/wedge combo for Christmas...hint hint... This is a really cool sex thing :).
Here's a really old one, but it's still hilarious. It's the Furby Hooker Network!
And finally, if you don't have someone to use the Liberator with, go here. It may make you feel better. :)
Yay...going on a date with Matt tonight. I'm really looking forward to that. Other than that, it's been uneventful.

2002-09-16T13:24:00.000-05:00

Hmm...I had an EMG done today...that was absolutely not fun. :( so my arm is all sore now. And I have therapy in about an hour, so that's bad too.... Oh well..I guess this just isn't my day.

2002-09-15T10:45:00.000-05:00

Well, at the moment Window's is being a bitch. Unfortuantely, not my bitch. Oh well. Hmm..I had lotsa fun the other night. Matt and I played putt putt..which I truly suck at, but we still had fun. Then yesterday afternoon Victoria and her sisters and I went to the Fall music festival at Garden in the Heights. That was fun. Some of the bands sucked, but some were actually decent. So that was cool too. I'm still feeling kinda sick :( Hopefully I'll get over this crap soon.

2002-09-13T17:15:00.000-05:00

Hmm...I'm feeling a little better than I was this morning. The Nyquil worked some. And I got some sleep. Umm...Oh, I have a date with Matt tonight, so that's gonna be fun :) Only I don't want to kiss him cuz I might get him sick :(. Whoo hoo...and a concert with Matt and Victoria tomorrow. I think it's about time for me to take a shower and start getting ready.

2002-09-12T11:59:00.000-05:00

Hmm...no update in a while. Yesterday when I was doing therapy, there was this other young guy there...maybe about 19-21 or so. I swear, either he was trying to flirt with me, or he's just a very clueless straight boy. I was on the bike and he was on the squats machine directly across from me. That was a nice view...but the best was when I was on the treadmill, facing the wall where I could see the room behind me in the reflection off of a picture. He was on the ground, twisting and stretching his back. And then, he got on that damn ball thing. Bending over it. I almost passed out. Now I know why so many gay men like the gym.
Anyway, on Tuesday night I went to bed at like 4 AM..and I woke up at 6:30, so I was a little bit tired. So on the way to class, I stopped at Starbucks for some go juice. I really don't know which is worse...sleeping through Algebra or being totally wired through Algebra.

2002-09-08T12:13:00.000-05:00

Hmm...I just woke up and I had one of the weirdest dreams I can remember in a long time. One of the odd things was that it was laid out like a horror movie. A group of friends were at a party type setting. The geography of the house was confusing, but consistent. Near the beginning, we heard a guy saying "Who is this chick in the picture?" and then screaming. Umm...My name was Jeffrey. We had discussions at the bottom of the stairway about the weekend before where I wasn't present. There was a refrigerator, and upstairs there was a "window" that was a TV screen that showed only a blue screen. It was shaped like a tall window though. We also saw this weird looking cat like woman. We figured that she was the owner of the house, the way she kept looking at mirrors, but we did not speak to her. To get into the garden, you had to go upstairs. I knew this was a second story because the normal windows showed the height. But if you went out the door, you were in the garden. It was a large garden, and there were some broken roman looking statuary lined up near the door. They were not very big, but they were in a perfect square formation. Then we left the garden and all of my friends ate and used the bathroom. I had a "cut away" sequence in a store or something...I remember shopping carts and shoppers...maybe it was a different dream. After they ate and all, they went back to the garden. As my friends were leaving, I noticed some of them looked a little different. Kinda like that cat lady. I don't know why I didn't go with them to the garden, but a few minutes later I followed them. When I got to the garden door, I noticed it had changed. It would close and lock behind you now. I opened the door and looked out. I saw a pole not too far away, so I ran and got it and propped the door open with it. I saw that there was some more broken roman statues in formation. I saw the Wonder Twins (yes, the Wonder Twins). I said, "But you're the..." and they said "Yes, we're the Wonder Twins." There was also the Joker, Wonder Woman, Batman and some others. I asked them what my name was and they all replied "Jeffrey," so I knew it was my friends. I told them to hurry and get inside and as they were coming inside, I asked the Wonder Twins to transform to something, but everyone had already changed back to my friends. We decided that it was the eating food and going to the bathroom that must have started the changing, so some of my friends started breaking the refrigerator. We were about to start figuring a way out when I woke up.

2002-09-07T23:39:00.000-05:00

Here's a list of the Human Memetic Viruses that I am infected and possibly infected by:
USA, Junkfood, Sci-Fi, Religion, 8-Bit, Brand Names, Computer Games, Ultima, Macintosh.
Here's the one's I might have:
Pokemon (60%), Linux (80%), Industrial (70%), Japan (60%), Politics (80%), Environmentalism (73%), and Hippyinsm (60%).
Here's the link to find out what you're infected with.
We went to the Delta Downs casino for my dad's birthday today. My stepmom won money and I lost some. I don't like casinos.
Oh, I got to talk to Matt tonight, so that was the highlight of my day :). I really enjoy talking to him...I wish he was here right now. I want to hold him and be held...

2002-09-07T10:57:00.000-05:00

Oh yeah...Ellen Feiss rules. She's the chick on those apple ads to switch to Mac...you can see the ad here. I love the way how she laughs when she says, "It devoured my paper." And the classic "It's kinda.....a bummer" and "I was like....uuhnh?" I don't know how she could get away with making a commercial while being stoned, but she did it. She's my hero for today.

2002-09-07T10:53:00.000-05:00

Alrighty....I haven't posted in a few days. Ummm...I went to the dentist yesterday. That was a whole lot of non fun. While he was doing the torturing, I felt like asking him his opinions on why dentists have the highest suicide rate of all doctors...more specifically if it was because of the stress of the job or just basically the type of person that would become a dentist in the first place. I practiced common sense, however, and did not ask him...I was already in enough pain.
We had a test in Intro to Computers yesterday. It was very easy, so I finished first, in like 5 minutes. The chick next to me looked at me when I was standing up and asked, "You're done already?" Hmm...I guess a natural ability with computers is a Martha Stewart brand "Good Thing."
Oh, it's my dad's birthday today, so we're going to a casino in Louisiana...whoo hoo.
Hmmm....Matt, if you're reading this, I'm thinking about you! :)

2002-09-06T00:56:00.000-05:00

Hmmmm...everyone really should check this site out.

2002-09-05T22:43:00.000-05:00

Hmmm...it might be funny if anyone who wanted to would click this link if you have AIM. Go here and check out the entry for Sept 4, 2002 to find out why. :)

2002-09-03T21:18:00.000-05:00

I am a Light Cycle.

I drive fast, I turn fast, I do everything fast. I even breakfast. I tend to confuse people with my sudden changes of heart. Sometimes I even confuse myself, which tends to cause problems. What Video Game Character Are You?